There have been a lot of shifts going on in my career lately, and it feels like my whole life is being upended. Over the last few weeks, as all of these changes (or potential changes) have started happening, I have been feeling more and more unsettled, and more and more unsure. I’ve been reading a lot and listening to a lot of podcasts, and one of the things that I keep coming back to is this phenomenon of Americans and how we Identify, or over-identify, with work. It’s something that I fall completely victim too, and everyone talks about how its not a good thing, and how it isn’t healthy, but I have a lot of questions about that. We all know that American’s work too much, and Europeans are great at “living life” and having all of the fun. I won’t lie – I do envy the Dutch, the Canadians, the Australians and the Brazilians for being able to take months/years off at a time to travel (and being encouraged to do so).* But on the same hand, I cannot imagine a life of exploring only, I have always been and will always be someone who needs to be working toward bettering something.
What I want to get at in today’s post is that neither end of the spectrum necessarily bad places to be, and there are a lot of caveats. Here are the three things I think about when it comes to this subject, and that I want to touch on today:
- Your life has seasons – it won’t always be one way or the other
- Identity at work when you love what you do
Your Life has seasons
I think this is SUCH an important lesson to learn in your twenties. One that I’m starting to catch on to, and one that I’m also really starting to appreciate. When most of us graduate from college, it’s the first REAL transition in the way our daily lives our lived. Obviously, high school to college is a bit transition. The difference between these two transitions though is that from HS to college, you’re still transitioning to another kind of school, something you’re at least somewhat familiar with, if not fully prepared for (depending on the quality of your k-12 educaiton, which is a passionate topic for another time and another blog – and for my day job!). The transition from college to “the real world” though is typically a precipice for many of us, tipping us into a world where we have very little idea what we can expect.
My experience was pretty bumpy in that transition. Social media did not help. I got stuck in the thought process that whatever happened right after college, whatever that first job was at that first company, that was going to set the trajectory for my life. Fun fact – IT DOES NOT. It can, if you want it to, but you can try something, and then never have to do it again – your life is [hopefully] long, and you will have plenty of seasons. This post-grad time, it’s a season. Its important to explore and enjoy what you can, because as with all seasons of your life, rose colored gasses will make it look shiny and wonderful.
This season is for growth, exploration, personal development, healthy practices, fun and humility. Whether you’re in corporate, non-profit, education, start-up culture, or anywhere in between, your mid- to late-twenties is your time for figuring yourself out.
Sometimes changing seasons in your career can be needed, exciting and full of possibilities. Other times, you may feel very scared, wondering if leaving the great experience you’re having is really the right choice. My co-worker / work-wife and I are currently in that second place. She has recently been through an interview process for a job that she applied to out of frustration, but never had any intention of getting… and then she did. Now she is trying to figure out if leaving an organization she loves, but isn’t sure how she’s going to grow in, for a start-up organization with a similar mission and much more responsibility is the right choice. I know it is the right choice for her (and it pains me to say that), but when I put myself in her shoes, I’m not sure if I’d be able to make that decision.
In another post I will talk about how to decide if an opportunity is a good one or not. Is it shiny and new and “better” than a crappy situation you have now. Is there potential for growth, even if the new role is a big step up? How do you leave a team you love, and know that it will be okay? Nothing is ever a sure thing – but we can talk about how to be more sure in your decisions.
For now though. If you’re in a bad place – know you’ll get out. My coworker and I are examples of how negative situations can sometimes motivate you to reach for things you might have thought out of your realm of possibility, and get them. Also, know that if things are good – that is okay too, and its important to find gratitude and recognition for those seasons when you’re in them, because you don’t always know how long they’ll last.
Work & Your Identity when you love what you do.
I’ve realized my identity is almost wholly wrapped up in my work and organization. With everything I’ve read, I find this to be pretty concerning and also somewhat distracting in my life. When I got the job at this non-profit, it was the absolute best day of my career so far – hands down (didn’t have much to compare to at the time though, full disclosure). This program is everything I’ve ever imagined in a non-profit, and also everything I didn’t know I wanted four years ago when I was graduating college. I live for our mission, for my work from home and travel, for my flexibility, but mainly for the fact that I know that everyday I am helping to better the world. I work on average 60 hours a week. I am not a work-a-holic, I am very good at turning off. But I spend the majority of my time with my work, and not doing much of anything else. I think that many people would see this as a problem, or worrisome, but after putting in a lot of thought – I’m leaning the other direction.
I am young. I am single (in the marital sense). I live alone. I’m an introvert. I love my job. I am excelling at my job. To me, all of these facts help me to realize I’m right where I need to be. This is the time of my life where my identity can be wrapped up in what I do for a paycheck. I have an incredibly meaningful job and is creating an incredible impact in the lives of kids around the US, and I honestly think that’s a valid thing to tie your identity to. And yet, as new opportunities start to pop up for me, I find myself stuck between loving my job and the identity it is helping to form – and the crippling fear of who I am if I’m not in this job, with this organization. Imposter Syndrome has played a major factor in this fear (and is something I’ll discuss in another post). I have had a lot of thoughts like “you’re not as great as they think you are, and if you take another job, those people will find out”, “you were completely unqualified for this job in the first place – how would anyone let me move up?”, “you work hard – but not as hard as you should… so these people don’t really want to hire you”… and on, and on, and on. This is where things get confusing.
Here is what I think: Its important to be aware. Be aware of how tied you are to your work. If your job a major part, or your entire identity? Does your life revolve around your work? If your job was gone tomorrow, would you know who you are? Its okay if you can’t answer all of these questions “positively”. Its OKAY if you identify yourself by what you do. Its just important to be aware. Even though its okay, its still important that you try to find ways to diversify. Its important that you still do the work to figure out who you are outside of your day job. But its also a wonderful blessing to love what you do, and do it well, so don’t let comments about identifying with your work make you question what you do every day.
Later this week I will be posting about: How to grow and live when you feel like you’ve lost your identity in your work, and you don’t love what you do. I think that this is a completely separate topic from loving your work and identifying with it so I want to give it some extra love and attention.
Let me know your thoughts/experiences with this topic.
Career Confidant 